jane_and.the_dragon

 
Joined: 2014-04-14
DUTY, HONOR, RESPECT, RESPONSIBILITY AND LOYALTY
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WordHex

WordHex

WordHex
20 days ago

FORGETING THE PAST

2020-02-11       
   It is so hard to forget the past even when to do so would be better for you.   The end of this month will mark the 3 year anniversary of a fight that lost me a good friend/   It was an ugly fight.  I felt blocked in by her and another friend.   I wanted it to stop, so I said something that I thought would make it stop.   It did unfortunately it worked too well she proceeded to put me on ignore, and that is where I have been sense.   I need to forget she was ever my friend sense she has made it clear she wants no more contact with me, but sometimes it is hard to forget people you care about. I do pretty well not thinking about it most of the time, but this time of year it always creeps back into my mind.  It was shortly before my birthday we had the fight.  I remember that because a week or 2 before the fight she said she would paint me a snow scene  for my birthday.   Needless to say after the fight I did not get it, I can not say as I blamed her. What I said was pretty harsh, but they would not stop when I told them to stop.  I felt I had to do something more drastic to make it stop.
     Most of my friends know how emotional I get when I am stressed out, and forgive me when I get worked up like that, but she cut all contact so I never had the chance to try to make it right.   I really need to figure out a way to let it go.   Repeatedly reliving it is not doing anyone any good.   Thing is sometimes it is not that easy to let go of emotional memories.