joined: 2014-04-14
Next level: 
Points needed: 612
Last game


     Last night was a sleepless night. No matter how hard I tried I could not get my body to go to sleep.  Turns out I am not the only one I spoke to a friend on line about 5 am who also could not sleep, and when my sister called at 7 am she said she had not slept at all either.  I do not know what was going on that people were having trouble sleeping last night, but apparently I was not the only one that could not sleep.  My sisters problem was she had a bad stomach ache.  I think my problem was I could not get  my mind to stop racing.  I hate when it gets like that where I can not shut my thoughts down enough to actually sleep.  I do not know what causes it,but I do know it is a real problem.   I need my sleep.  When I do not get enough sleep I get irritated easily and mad over things most people would not even notice. Night before last I slept great and woke up feeling better then I had in weeks.
     I do not know it could be this weird weather and all the staying inside because of the virus.   I think people are going stir crazy with all this being trapped inside our homes for this long.   There is a beautiful sunny sky out there this morning , even though the air is still chilly, it is the kind of sun that makes you want to go out and just feel it on your face ( well the part you so not have covered by a mask anyhow).   I do know lack of sleep is no good for anyone.   It messes with you both mentally and physically.
     Here is to a better night's sleep tonight.  Tomorrow is my birthday and I would hate to have dark circles under my eyes on my birthday.   I doubt many will remember it, but I have already gotten 3 cards and a big present from my boyfriend.


     It is nearly that time of year again.  I always get to remembering a bad move I made in anger about 4 years ago.   As I sit here wearing the beautiful brown Wyoming hood sweat shirt the first person ever to post on one of my blogs, I can not help but think back to the fight that happened about 4 years ago.  I spoke some words in anger, because I felt picked on and in doing so I lost someone I thought was a friend.   It just goes to show the words act in haste repent in leisure are so true.  If I had taken a couple steps back and calmed down instead of going off like a firecracker, Maybe just maybe we would still be friends.   I guess that is why people tell you to count to 10 before acting when you are angry.   That night it was not just anger fulling me.   My feelings were hurt and I reacted without even thinking about it.   THAT IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA!!!! You should always think things through even more so when you are mad, because your emotions will say things your brain would tell you is a bad idea.
     It is a hard thing to live with, but you can not make people like you if they do not want to do it.   Friendship is a 2 way street and one person can not make it work alone.   I am the one that put the pot hole in the road to our friendship, so my friend took another road across a bridge and burned it down after crossing it
     I will always remember it was around this time of year, because my birthday is early next month and the fight that broke the friendship happened near my birthday.  Sorry if no one is interested in this other then me, but sometimes people just need to let the feelings out.   If you hold them inside they will build a big wall between you and your ability to let it go.  Yes I realize I have not let it go yet, but it hurts a little less.   A friend told me I should get rid of everything my lost friend got me so they did not remind me of what happened.  I can not do that. Part of me hopes someday we may be able to fix the friendship again and part of me needs to remember.  If you forget the past you are condemned to repeat it.  These things that were given to me when I still had this sweet friend reminds me not to act that way with anyone else I want to keep in my life.  I am not one of these people that can throw the good away with the bad.


   A famous sports entertainer often says Don't trust anyone, and I am starting to wonder if he was right.   Just yesterday someone I have know for years, and trusted showed his true colors.   He had promised me he would keep a secret that both he and I knew.  The suddenly and with no prior heads up he not only told the secret, he published it.   I found out about it from a real friend, and he told me to brace myself before he told me what he had read and where.   I wonder if Stone Cold was right when he said don't trust anyone.   Seems like I tend to trust the wrong people a lot.   I want to trust everyone, but the sad fact is some people are just not worthy of trust.   My problem is on the net I have a much trouble telling those that I may trust from those that no one should ever trust.
    I guess if you do not trust anyone, no one can hurt your feelings or break your heart right?   But that would be an awful way to live. If you would go through life thinking everyone would lie to you or break your heart, would you not be condemning yourself to your own private hell?   Deep inside me I have a belief that most people are good inside.  I do not want to go through life doubting everything anyone says to me.   If I trust the wrong person and they stab me in the back with a lie or a broken promise, I may cry for a little while,but they have to live with the bad karma they generated from the act.   I am a big believer in letting karma equalize it when someone hurts me, because no one escapes bad karma.   Sometimes it may take a while for them to get paid back for their dishonesty and meanness, but trust me it will happen all I have to do is sit back and wait for it.   Problem with so many people today is they have no patience to wait for people who do them wrong to get paid back by their own bad karma.   They will try to get even themselves and in doing so cause themselves to have bad karma also.


     First let me make one thing clear this blog in no way has anything to do with what is going on in politics.   This is about how when a group of like minded people get together, sometimes they do not make sure they are right in what they agree on, before they try to act on it.   Sometimes these people will act out with hostility against someone  who is standing alone, simply because that person is an easy target. Also sometimes they gather together as a group because of a mob mentality.  I know of at least one person in my own family who can get others to jump on his side right or wrong against another family member, because the other family members are worried if they do not he will start in on them.
     It is always a bad thing when an angry group goes at one person, ESPECIALLY if the angry group is wrong, or just picking on the one person because they are bored and think it is funny.   Sometimes people do not realize when one says something they think is funny it may hurt someone else's feelings, because it is mean to put someone else down for your enjoyment.   They also do not realize their mean words can cut a sensitive person like a knife, especially if they liked the person saying it  before they said it .
    Again lets drift back to my brother.  I stopped him from acting that way for about 15 years he is now starting it up again.   I do not know if people like this think that they make themselves taller by trying to cut someone else down, but it is not fair.   People should be allowed to be themselves irregardless if someone understands them or not. God made us all so even if you do not understand someone know they are as they were intended to be. It does not matter if we understand why or not.
    What gets me is when people would rather attack someone that is different then themself, rather then to try to understand why they are as they are.  EVERYONE should try to be more tolerant and understanding of others, because some day they themselves may be the one being picked at by a group of people who are in the wrong too.


     I just saw on my home page that the people arming because they are afraid  a civil war  may start with the swearing in of the new president.   Seriously I think EVERYONE ON ALL SIDES need to take a step back, count to ten and then take a few deep breaths.  After that I think they ALL really need to look at what they are doing and what they may start if they try anything stupid and pointless.   I can not help remembering a line from M*A*S*H I do not remember the exact quote, but it went something like " What good is it to win a war, if you destroy your home doing it."   Way i see it is if you are a true American and a believer in the our government, at this point you need to just calm down and trust in the process that it will all work out.   BRIGHT SIDE: even if it does not we get to do it all over again in 4 years lol.  So calm down, and saver the country by not destroying it.