orange_sadona

 
joined: 2014-10-26
LET'S ALL REMEMBER THE ONLY PERFECT PERSON DIED ON A CROSS THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO.
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Feeling Insecure Again

     I am feeling insecure again tonight.   When I signed on line I fired up my Skype and rang the same female friend I mentioned in an earlier blog.   She did not answer.   A few minutes later I rang my b/f and he did answer, then he said I should invite my female friend.   I said she must be away from the computer because I tried like 5 min ago and she did not answer.   He said we’ll try now.   It only took me 2 seconds to realize he and she had been on the Skype when I called him, and they had not invited me even though she knew I was on line.   I told him well if you were on Skype with her I will let you go back to it.   Now you tell me are men really that stupid?   How could he not know when I said it like I did that I was upset?   He did not call me, he did not invite me to their box, he did not even im me to see if I was ok.   I do not know maybe I expect too much of the male of the species.   Maybe it is beyond their comprehension to see what is right in front of their face, or maybe I am just over reacting.   The thing is I see history about to repeat itself.   I have seen changes in his personality, and when I have noticed personality changes in other past b/f it was not long until the relationship broke up.     It would hurt badly if he left me for our friend, but I would get over it and stay friends with her at least if they would just be honest about it.   I know one thing the longer it goes on like it has been the more strain it puts on the relationship between my b/f and me.


Do Men Get PMS?

     I mean seriously, I have some male friends and tonight they were acting like they all had PMS.   The had mood swings, were yelling, and throwing things, and to the best of my knowledge neither of them was drunk.   One screams and storms out of the room.   The other took a hissy  fit when I asked him to turn down his radio.   I do not know why he threw his head phones across the room.  It occurs to me that had he been using them in the first place I would not have needed to request he turn it down.   Then he also stormed out of the room.   Men talk about women and PMS it is time they realize they themselves have just as bad of mood swings as women do.

Things That Make You Say WOW pt 1

      From time to time something happens that makes you way wow, because wow is the only thing you can say.   Sometimes wow is something good sometimes wow is something bad and sometimes it is so shocking wow is all you can say.  
     This first installment falls into the last category.    I have some friends.   They are all good people, loving caring strong and reliable.   I was at one of their houses today and heard one of them say to their daughter something that made me say wow.   They were talking about custody and child support.   The subject got to one of the brothers and his sister said to her daughter your uncle does not want those children, because they are tainted.   I asked what that meant, and was told it meant they had been sexually abused by the step father, and the real father did  not want custody of them because of it.   I was in shock.   First thing came to my mind was WOW.    I know the brother and he is really good with kids so I find it amazing he could turn his back on his own children just because someone abused them.   I said it is not the children's fault someone molested them.     I wondered what kind of father would turn his back on his kids just when he needed them most.  
     It was at that point the niece said to her mother that her uncle would not care that he loves kids, and would not blame the kids because some perv did something to them.   I am wondering if the statement was the uncles feelings or it it was the opinion of the one that said it.    I do not understand how someone could think beautiful little children are tainted when someone abused them.  
     I find this attitude one of the things that make you say wow.   Children need our love not shunning when someone hurts them.    They need their family's love and protection to see to it such a thing NEVER happens again.    To say these children are tainted stirs memories of stories of how woman used to be treated if they had a child without being married years ago.   People need to come into the 21st century and realize these children did nothing to be tainted.
     I am a little passionate about this subject because I myself was molested by a family friend I had know my whole life when I was 14.   I never told my parents, because my dad and I fought a lot so I was not sure he would believe me as he had know this guys whole family for decades.  I did not tell my mom, because I was frightened she would kill the guy and I would lose my mom to the law.   I needed my mom more then I needed the perv prosecuted.   When I hear someone say a child that is sexually abused is not tainted it makes me angry, because I feel like they would see me as tainted also if they knew I had been molested also.   It is so sad when people do not put the blame for bad things where they belong.

Bait and Switch

    Bait and switch is a turn usually used in selling things it refers to the practice or advertising something really cheep but only having a few of them and when you get people in the store trying to sell them something more expensive cause you do not have the others anymore.    Well tonight I found out there are other ways to bait and switch.   I was invited to go out gaming with some friends and when we got there I was told the game we were to play would not be the game in which I was so excited to engage.   It had been changed to a game that not only do I rarely play but I do not do well.   I felt cheated, but I was already there so I played until I lost the first hand then I made up an excuse and left.
    I may have looked like a bad looser, but when you consider I was never told of the game change until I arrived at the location I do not feel I was wrong to leave/   I felt as though it was bait and switch.

The Unfaithful Heart.

     Have you ever wondered when a couple breaks up who because of jealousy who is really to blame.   Is it the one who feels the jealousy or is it the one that triggered it?    I have been seeing the same man for about 5 years and now I am starting to have some doubts about his feelings to me.  Lately I have been feeling of jealous of the time he has been spending with a friend of mine.   I love this lady very much.   In many ways she is closer to me that my own sisters, but recently my man has forgotten a couple things we were to do together.  
     The last time when I called him to see where he was and why he had not met me as he was supposed to, I heard my friend’s voice in the background.   I do not think she was at his house.   I think they were on Skype together.   I think that is why he allowed the time to catch up with him, and he missed our meeting.   When she spoke it pulled his attention away from my call and to her.   It was then that I realized he had been talking to her and that was why he had forgotten me.   They are involved in some type of on line gaming together I think, so it may have had something to do with that.   At least that is what I told myself the first time this happened, and now it has happened again.
     I know I am not always an easy person to get along with and as a result of this I have had relationships part from me in the past.   I an a little insecure when it comes to matters of love, and my relationships have not always been good ones.   I just do not know if it is all in my head this time or if my man is losing interest in me and finding it in my friend.    She may not even notice the things I have as I do not think she would ever betray me if she knew it.   She has been a really good friend to me for years.   I do not think she is after my man,   however the thought crosses my mind when things like this happen, that he may be getting interested in her.
     It would hurt very much if I lost him, especially if it was to one of my friends, but I have learned long ago you can not make someone stay with you if their heart is elsewhere.   I only wish I knew if what I feel is happening or if it is all in my head.   It would not be beyond the scope of possibilities for me to overreact to something I see or hear.
     If anyone has any thoughts on this I would not be opposed to hearing them.