leilakalomi

 
registro: 07/09/2014
Quality is better then Quanity.
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WHEN IT CHANGES

     Today I want to talk about jokes.   Jokes are meant to be funny.  Most bring laughter and joy to all those who hear it, but what i want to talk about  is when something that is meant as a joke to some becomes something else to someone else.   Most jokes are fast and over with in less then 5 min.   There is however a very fine line between what one sees as a joke and someone else may see as being picked on.   We have all been in school and either seen or been the child that was just a little different from others in our class, and of coarse the kids would see the differences and pick at the differences in others.   To keep the kid that is doing the picking from turning on them they will laugh at the "joke" , and sometimes even come up with remarks (jokes) on the center of the attention themselves.   Speaking of one of these kids who was picked on when I was a kid by people I wanted to be friends with I can tell you it sticks with you far beyond childhood.  
     One Christmas about a decade ago I finally had to put a stop to my own brother picking at me.   The way I did it was quite harsh and something I have never done before but I had to do it.   I knew I had to make him feel like he had made me feel for years.   I thought hard and came up with a crack about his hair loss that I knew would hurt him and I knew i had to do it.   Talking to him was not working I had tried for years to make him understand, and it had not worked   When I said what I had too say he said that kinda hurt my feelings.    Then to his surprise i said GOOD that is exactly what it was meant to do.   NOW you tell me how does it feel to have someone you love hurt your feelings and not care they did  it?, cause that is what you have done to me for years.   He said i was just teasing I said NO teasing is when  everyone is laughing not when some laugh and one cries.    I said you have no clue how many times I have cried myself to sleep over things you have said to me, and you did not care.   He finally thought about what I was saying and he said if I really made you feel like this I am sorry.   My brother does not say sorry often.   In fact that was the first time i had heard him say it sense we were kids and he mad mom mad.
     People do not realize even when we grow up we still have feelings and insecurities, and what may seem funny to you may really cut someone else deeper then a knife.   If I had my choice between getting cut with a knife or cut emotionally by someone I love I would rather have the knife wound.   In a few weeks the knife wound would heal the emotional wound never really goes away, and it can crop up in similar situations if someone says something  to remind you of the original event.
     The sad thing is even people in adult bodies will sometimes pick on others like kids on a playground.   They either do not realize or do not care they are hurting people that have done nothing to them.   I myself still get hurt and sometimes cry when people say mean things to me.  
     So you tell me when does teasing change to bullying? , and how do we get them to realize what they are doing and to care?