jane_and.the_dragon

 
joined: 2014-04-14
DUTY, HONESTY, HONOR, RESPECT, RESPONSIBILITY AND LOYALTY.
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WILL IT NEVER END

I just got a call from a friend of mine and her husband, granddaughter, other daughter, and that daughter's boyfriend have all tested positive with covid. My friend herself has not tested positive with it YET, but it still sucks. Because I can not go over to visit. The good news is last time I was to her house was about a week before any of this hit.
Even though I have done a pretty good job of staying covid free, I have noticed I have been very depressed lately. It goes to show even if you do not have covid yourself it still effects you in other ways.
I just wish it would all end, but honestly I do not think it ever will. I think it will just keep mutating like the cold or the flue and we will just have to learn to live with it.


ANOTHER THOUGHT

I was watching a show the other day and it had a photo on it that is said to show a ufo in a time and place it should not have been in. After taking a good close look at the thing that is said to be a ufo and the surrounding areas I have a different idea as to what the painter wanted. I do not think it is actually a even in the sky. I believe the area where it appears in the painting was meant to be an extension of the water in the background of the painting, and the thing everyone thinks is a ufo is in fact a boat out on the water with a couple large barrels on the deck. If you zoom in you can see what appears to be a couple ores sticking out from the sides of the object much like the oars that were set low inside old ships of the past. You do not see many ores on space ships. As to the guy they think is looking up at the picture may just be looking out across the sea. If you want to see the pic it is in the oddities file in my photos


SANDS OF TIME AND WINDS OF CHANGE

I was flipping through some books i had stored away this morning and I found a hand written birthday card from someone who was once like a sister to me. I was 19 when I met her and she was 11. I would hang out at her house when a friend of mine was babysitting for her mother. After about a year the babysitter i would hang with moved away and the mother of the girls she had been watching asked me to take over the job, so I did. The girls were like my little sisters we did many things together even when I was not sitting them. When my friend got old enough her mom put her to babysitting her sisters, but she was nervous about it, so I would still hang at her house to make my friend feel better. As the years went by the girls grew up as children will do, and my friend became a mother. For a couple years she lived in her own house next door to mine. Those were good times we (her and her kids and I ) would do many things together. In the summer we would yard sale hop ???? I miss those days. After my friend's youngest children( twins ) started school she went back to collage to get her teaching degree. She worked hard and when she graduated she started teaching in the ares. About a year after she got a steady job teaching she moved out of the neighborhood, but she still stayed in touch. lol one Saturday night I spent all night putting together a desk together for her. After I got all the things I needed help for ( it had a book case over the desk, I let her get some sleep. She had church the next day. She took me to get some breakfast before she went to Church. Another time we had a yard sale at her house.
I saw some changes in her when she said to me one day she could never live in this neighborhood again. After she got the job as a principal for reasons unknown to me she stopped communicating with me. I chalked it up to her being busy. It was not till I started noticing she would ride by my house to see a special needs child up the street, and she would not even wave when I was sitting on the porch. It would seem the sands of time had shifted her away from me and her past, and the winds of changed had changed who she was when I called her my sister????. She did not even tell me when she got married much less invite me. I never knew she had even been married till my real sister told me. She had seen her out somewhere after her husband had died. I still see 2 of her sisters from time to time, and one saw me sitting on the porch one day about 2 years ago and stopped to talk. I do not get why someone I thought of as a sister acts as if we never met now that she has moved up in the work environment.
Finding that hand written birthday card signed love ya and knowing she really does not care at all if I am alive or dead kinda hurts. Why do people say they love you if they do not mean it to be forever? Why do the sands of time and the winds of change take people you once cares a great deal for out of your lift? Oh well I hope she is happy with the road she has chosen. Bottom line we all have to live with the choices we make in our life. I just wish those little reminders of the past would not pop up like the birthday card tucked in a book she bought me once for my birthday back when I still thought of her as my little sister.


WHAT MAKES A DREAM TURN INTO A NIGHTMARE?

Here I sit at 5 am typing this blog, because I can not get back to sleep, and I do not want to wake anyone who is able to sleep.
I was jolted awake a few minutes ago by something I saw in a dream. It started out a little odd but a little familiar. I was somewhere at an outdoor party. There were not many people there that I knew. That is odd because I do not go to parties without someone I know near by me.( it is an anxiety thing ). I was taking photos about the party, which is not at all unusual. I have a camera with me at nearly every gathering of any kind to which I attend. I was strolling about , taking photos of everyone at the party. My niece who is pregnant and her mother was there, but I did not see any other members of my brother's family to start with. I stopped to take a few shots of some children that I was not sure who their parents were. It is then that the first odd thing happened. One of the little boys looked at me and told me my nieces baby was not going to make it to be born. That shook me up a bit, and I told him and about everyone I saw after that to think good thoughts about the baby, but I kept taking photos. I ran into someone ( the father of some or the children at the party ) even though I could not tell you exactly who he was it felt like I should know him. He handed me this really old messed up tablet, and asked me to shoot a couple shots of him and his kids with it for him. Then I heard him say to someone at the party he was going to get it all fixed up and give it to me sometime in the future. That was a bit odd as i Was not 100% sure who he was. I started to go then a voice came from the bed of a pickup that had a high cover over it. The person inside wanted to see the photos I shot, so i took the camera over to the truck. I was still not sure who was inside. As I got closer I realized it was my DEAD brother. It took me a couple minutes to remember he was DEAD. It was remembering that fact that jolted me awake and here I set telling people who probably do not care about it, because I am scared to go back to sleep.
I am not afraid of my late brother or his memory. What freaked me out was it is his granddaughter that is pregnant, and after being told the baby was not gonna live to be born, it worried to see my dead brother there. Some may laugh at me , but a part of me IN THE DREAM wondered if he had come to take the babies sole to heaven.
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS NEVER EAT A BUNCH OF CHOCOLATE COVERED PRETZELS AND THEN GO TO SLEEP IMMEDIATELY AFTER. Some of the things in this dream I could rationalize away by connecting them to things that I talked to people about just before I went to sleep, others not so much.


WHEN WILL A MIND BREAK?

With all the deaths in the past couple years, it makes me wonder why more people have not had mental breaks. I know the stress of losing a loved one will play games with your mind. I had a friend about a decade ago who died way too young and it did not have to happen. My mind wrapped around the fact it did not have to happen so tight it made me literally shake. I could not let go of the thought if she had just had a simple surgery she would still be here and her 10 year old girl would not have had to grow up without her mom.
Many people have had loved ones die, and in the past year, like a friend said, the deaths have been magnified. Seems like every day we know someone who has lost a loved one, either to covid or to natural causes. Every time we here about another death , it makes us wonder who will be next.
A couple months ago a friend lost his father, and I thought he was taking it way better then I expected him to. I found out tonight how wrong I was to believe that. He has been talking to his dead dad, and I did not think it was a problem, until recently when I discovered he thinks his father is answering him when he talks to him. That is really odd in itself as I always thought his dad was a man of few words unless he had something that needed said. Tonight this behavior of talking to his dead dad took a bad turn. Out of the blue he made contact with another associate of his, and said he had found and angle and that his father had something for him to tell the associate. At that point he made a threat toward the associate in the dead father's name. He said his dead father had told him to say what he did to the other person. I was shocked and told him he needed to talk to his therapist about this, because angles are not used to threaten people USUALLY and that I did not think God would appreciate him saying an angle was involved in a threat. Clearly my friend is missing his father who always looked out for him all my friends life. He has a desire for his dad to still be able to do it, but I can not make him understand that his father is not longer here on Earth and can not longer fight his battles for him.
I had another friend years ago who could not deal with his lover's death and his mind recreated the lover. To my friend his dead lover was still alive and with him. This new aggressive behavior in the name of his dead father makes me think my friend that lost his dad may be heading down the same mental crack as my other friend did, and I fear what may happen if my friend slips into a total world of fantasy. This is hard for me , because she my dad died we all faced it head on. It is hard watching someone's mind break.