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     This morning I was talking to a friend and we got on the subject of my brother that died 3 years ago next month.  My brother and I had some rough times in our relationship, because he disappointed  me many times, and I had trouble getting past them.  As I talked to my friend today I realized something that I really did not see before.   My brother cared more about me then I ever realized.   I was telling my friend about the time my brother borrowed a motorcycle and took me for a ride.   It was the only time I ever rode a real motorcycle.  That memory triggered the time a neighbor had brought his pony to our house, and was giving us all rides on it.  I had measles that summer and mom would not let me go outside with the other kids that were riding it.  I was 8 and I cried. I had never peen on a pony before and I really wanted to.  My little brother was allowed and I did not understand mom was trying to protect me.  My big brother told mom to put a coat on me and he would take me for one ride.  Picture this mid summer and there I am on the horse with my brother and I am wearing a winter coat, but I got my ride. n0.gif?v=122   Then there was the time I was afraid to walk to the bus stop for school I had to leave at 6 am and it is still dark in the winter then.  The walk was a mile and there were no lights on the road, so every sound I heard scared me. Mom told my brother I was scared and he went to his truck and brought me in a flash light. I still have that light.  And there is the story I told at his funeral about how he used to stand between me and the wind when it was cold outside to try to block it off me when I was in first grade. He also would carry me when the show was deep.  It is funny how one or two cases of hurt feelings can totally block out the good things someone did for you, and it is only after you lose them that you realize how good they really were to you, and it was only your hurt feelings that kept you from seeing it before they died.  The only good sided of this story is my brother and I were starting to get close again not long before he died.  I think if he had lived we would have been back to where were were before I was 7. Up till I was 7 I thought my big brother was the greatest guy in the world.  I even wanted to grow up and marry someone that looked like him.  Problem is the only person I ever found that looked like my brother was our first cousin and I am just not THAT hillbilly lol.
     My advice to everyone is if you are fighting with your brothers or sisters try to make peace, because you really do not know how much time you may have left to do it before it is too late.  Then all you will have is memories and possibly regrets that you did not do it when you could.  One of the last times I saw my brother before he died I was setting in his living room, and he came up behind me and squeezed me softly on my shoulder like he used to do when I was a little kid to let me know he was around.  I turned around and smiled at him he got one of those grins like he would get when he was really happy.  It is nice to have a few good memories to replace the bad ones , but I wish he was still alive so we could be making more memories.   Well I got to go now his grand daughter is going to be here in about an hour to take me to an appointment, and I am not ready yet.



     This cool treat I have found this year is one of the best things I have ever had.   You can find it at Walmart.   I really cannot tell you the flavor of it. It says natural flavor, but I know once you try it you will want more. You will want to read the ingredient, because there is a couple things in it some may be allergic to, but I am not.  It is a very natural product, and it contains 70% and 8% calcium, and 4 % potassium of the daily value of vitamin d on a 2000 calories diet. It dies gave 27 g pure cane sugar which is a little high, but it is ice cream so you should expect that. I discovered something interesting about this product.    Before I bought the first bag I had been having trouble with my stomach.    After I ate the first one my stomach began settling down.    The product makes not statement that it will help anything this is something I discovered for myself.    I think it may be the cinnamon in it that helped my stomach.    I know it has been known to work against bad bacteria in the stomach.    The down side of this product is there are only 6 in a package, and if you like them as much as me 1 bag will not last you a week lol.  You will need to look closely to find them in the ice cream cooler as they blind into the things around them.    I had to walk the coolers 2 times the other day to find them, but it was worth the effort.    I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.    Just remember if you have an an allergy to nuts soy or cinnamon you may not want to try them as there is a possibility for all 3 to be in it. Be sure to read the ingredients and if you can enjoy them.


I found this on another site and thought with everyone being so depressed about all this pandemic stuff maybe this would help us all be more positive.

6 Steps to Attract What You Want

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1. Clarify your desires.

It doesn’t need to be January 1 to write down your goals. You can start today. Ask yourself: By this time next year, what would you have liked to achieve? Find one hour and some peace and quiet, and have fun with this exercise. Your goal could be “earn 20 percent more,” “visit a country I’ve never been to,” or “start my food blog and reach 1,000 followers.” The more specific you can be, the better. Review these goals often and see how they cause an immediate shift in how you feel. Allow this to propel you forward to action.

2. Cultivate an “attitude of gratitude.”

Next time you can’t sleep, have to wait in a long line, or find your mind wandering toward thoughts about your ex or unfair boss, use that as a trigger to create a mental list of things you’re thankful for—include the little things! See if you can get to 100. Yes, 100!

Some of my recent gratitude nuggets include an unexpected text from an old friend, skinny margaritas, a really committed new client, thrift shopping, inspirational podcasts, funny things my nephews say, the Whole Foods pizza bar, fall fashion to look forward to, having only a one-minute wait for the subway, and my husband’s never-failing sense of humor. Even writing them down now gives me a boost!

Gratitude unlocks our positive vibes through the improved filter it gives us on the world. This filter allows us to see how good things really are and opens up our mind to possibility. Trust me—if you want to be happier, this will be way more useful than wasting time thinking about people who don’t deserve your precious energy.

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3. Observe your self-talk.

How you talk to yourself is important because you are the one listening. The mistake a lot of us make is that we focus on what we don’t want. Instead of saying, “I’m tired of being sick,” say, “I’m glad to feel better each day.” Rather than dwell on your crappy salary, say, “I am open to new opportunities to make money.” Notice how they feel different? If you do this consistently, you’ll attract different results too.

Create five new statements that make sense for you. If you’re going through a rough breakup, it might be, “I love myself. I approve of myself.” If you’re struggling to lose weight, try “I love my healthy body and I treat it that way. I feel good about myself.” If you are struggling with your job, repeat, “New work opportunities are on the way.”

These become your affirmations. Repeat them every morning. Save them as random alarms on your phone to appear throughout the day. Say them just as you are falling asleep at night.

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4. Focus on the good.

Annoyed with your S.O.? Rather than dwell on how they’re always late or grumpy in the mornings, think about what they do well. Do they get along with your parents or cook an amazing Sunday brunch? Focus on those qualities instead.

Instead of feeling irritated by your boss’s micromanaging, remember he’s cool with you working from home or how he gave you increased responsibilities this year. When you focus on the good, you welcome more good. Try focusing on only the positive and be vocal about it for 24 hours. See how people respond!

5. Visualize your dreams.

Dying to visit Croatia? Get stronger through a new workout? Fall in love by the end of the year? With Pinterest at your disposal, you can create a virtual vision board (in minutes!) of images that motivate and inspire you. Allow yourself to feel moved by the images and be open to including ones that stir some unexpected interest in you.

I host vision board events where people are often surprised by what comes up for them. (One woman, newly married, said, “This is going to be a baby board!” To the contrary, she left with a vision board filled with images of Morocco, Asia, bustling markets, and exotic-looking islands. She wanted to travel and explore, not to settle down as a mom just yet.)

Images enable us to activate our true longings, not what we think we “should want.” In this respect it can also help you pinpoint your goals. Remember to look at your vision board often and add to it. As with your goals, let the images remind you about what matters to you and to fuel your energy and passion for making it happen.

6. Get busy!

All of the above should lead you to a place of inspiration—the “real” you that’s guided by your intuition (not by external influences or incessant mental chatter). When you’re clear about your desires, talk to yourself in an empowering way, focus on what’s working in your life, and visualize what you want, you can’t help but feel moved to take action. And that’s the final step in achieving what you desire.

Make a commitment to take one action every single day that will drive you towards your goals and vision. By this time next year, you’ll be amazed how those 365 actions add up. 

You’ll send an email to that person you’d love to work for. You’ll think of new ways to meet prospective dates. You’ll research chefs who inspire you to start your blog. You’ll notice a new barre studio near your apartment that you hadn’t seen before. Make a commitment to take one action every single day that will drive you towards your goals and vision. By this time next year, you’ll be amazed how those 365 actions add up.

The Takeaway

The world does not change, you change. Only you can allow the flow of opportunity into your life. Only you can remove the negative blocks in your mind that prevent you from getting what you want. It’s all up to you, my friend. That is the real, awesome, beautiful secret!


     There is something wrong when you find yourself quoting things from Disney movies to make a point. lol  I was talking to my sister this morning and she brought up the story of the man that helped pull an officer from an accident.   She remarked about him being honored for it.  I said, yea he should be.  She said well there was another member of the police force that helped get the officer out, and he was not honored.  I laughed at this remark.  I told her it was his job to try to help, that is what the police are meant to do, to protect and to serve, so he was just doing his job.   The other guy was not on the force so he was helping out of the goodness of his heart.   Then my sister said, but the guy that was honored was waiting trial on some law he broke.  I said yea and??? I told her he will still have to go through with the trial. The good deed and him being honored for it has nothing to do with anything he may have done wrong before it.   At that point I quoted a couple lines from a Disney movies. One was  we all have good and evil in us, and the other was you never know where the good or evil will come from.  The point was that even someone that is supposed to be a good guy like the police can do bad things as we are seeing all over the media lately.  On the other hand someone that is alleged to be bad can do good things.   No one really knows what is in the heart of another or what motivates them to do the things they do.  Sometimes we as human beings just act on impulse. I know that to be true , because when I was 13 years old I acted on an impulse that saved a little girls life.  I saw her standing on the road not moving as a car was coming at her fast. I did not even think about what I was doing as a reflex reaction I jumped onto the road grabbed her and jumped off.  We barely made it I felt the wind from the car as it flew past us.  My poor mom who had seen this all from our porch yelled at me that I could have been killed. I told her if I had not did what I did Sandy would have been killed.  I was not thinking about my safety when I jumped in front of a speeding car.  My body knew it had to be done and reacted without thinking.   Sometimes something deep inside us will act on us to do things that may be really out of our character, and we just go with it.
     I have a lot of trouble understanding why one action that is different then what people think you are like can wipe away everything you did before.   I think everyone should be accepted for how they are and what they do at the time, but I do not think one thing should wipe away their whole past.    However sometimes that one thing can be just the first step on a different road from the one you had traveled in the past.    Sometimes the real us is trying to get out to be who we are meant to be rather then who we are now.
     I will leave you with another quote I like, but I do not know who said it first : I am not what I should be.  I am not what I am going to be, but thank God I am not what I was.   



     I rediscovered this today, and I think it is worth posting now.   Everyone today should listen to these words from the past, and learn from them. 


It seems to me today's generation has forgotten or maybe never realized what these words meant and why they were said every morning in school.   When I was growing up I went to school with a girl who refuses to participate in it, and the teacher allowed it , because she said her religion did not allow it.  I never did know what religion that was though.


     Charlie Daniels died today.  He will be missed.  I have loved his music for years.  The first song I ever heard of his was that first uneasy rider song, but I really did not know who sung it till after he recorded The Devil Went Down To Georgia.  
     I guess the good lord needs a little music too.


     I was sorting through some pictures and I saw one of my oldest nephew and his oldest son standing by my brother, sister-in-law and other nephews grave.  It made me cry, because my nephew looked so stunned.  In only 3 years he lost the whole family branch he was born into.  The anniversary of my brother's death is coming up next month. We buried him the day before his oldest son's birthday in Aug 2016. ( heck of a birthday right) Then about a month later in mid Sept. his mother died.   It was hard having 2 deaths in the same family branch that close together, but it did not come as a big surprise to us that she died soon after my brother. Just 2 days before she died she said she did not know how she would ever go on without my brother :( .  They said it was natural causes that killed her, but we think it was a broken heart. They had been together sense my brother was 18 years old.  They  raises 2 sons together, and finished raising my sister-in laws little sister when here parents died. 
   The sad part of this is after battling cancer 3 times and winning, their youngest son followed  them to the grave after his 4th battle with cancer in Sept. 2019 just a week or two before his own birthday.  I feel so sorry for my nephew.   No one should have to lose their whole birth family that closely together.  I just thank God he has his wife and children.  The children are all grown up now, but right now they are all living back home with him and his wife.   It would have been tenable if he had to deal with all that pain alone.  My nephew has always been very sensitive and to see him shutting down his emotions is kind of odd, but I guess we all deal with grief in our own ways.
     It is weird is it not how a single picture can bring back so much emotions.  Some times they are happy emotions, but sometimes they are very sad ones.
     I think I mentioned my nephew was a race car driver before.  He got rid of the race car, and is giving it up.  It is just not the same for him with his dad and his brother gone.  They used to do it as a family.  To tell the truth I think it is just too painful for him to even think about it.  Just a couple days before his brother died he wanted to go to the races , so they loaded him up and took him to the races that night.  My oldest nephew never raced again. Frankly I think that is a good idea.   Racing is dangerous, that is why my sister-in-law would not let my brother do it she was afraid for him. I was surprised when she let her son do it.   Part of me wonders if my nephew did it because he wanted to or if he did it to make his dad happy.  Could be that driving fast just runs in the family.  I rode home with my brothers youngest grandson one night and it was faster then I really wanted to get home lol but he drives well. There had been a little talk of letting him drive the race car, but I guess they changed their minds.
   Ty for you all letting me get some of these emotions out.


I was setting here thinking about something about a story my dad used to tell about me an a friend of his.  The way the story goes I used to ask him how his vitalities are, and he would say that he wished his was as good as mine.  I have no conscious memory of that but my dad told the story so many times when I was growing up that I can see it in my head.  The same thing goes for the morning my sister died. I was not even born yet, but I can see the events very clearly in my mind. My mom told that story many times too. My other sister said she thought mom did it so many times as a way of making Sally Ann real to my little brother and me, because we never met her. Mom would also talk about how strong Sally Ann was.  Mom said at only 3 weeks old she could sit up in the corner of a chair by herself.  Mom said after she died every time she saw a baby that was too strong too young it gave her a funny feeling. 
    There is a point to these ramblings. It is July 4th. I have a friend who had some bad things happen to him on the 4th of July, and after 10 years of watching him go into a depression and obsess about something he will never be able to change, it is like I was there and saw it as it happened through his eyes.   I have tried for years to help him let go of some of the pain of that year, but things stick in his head like they do mine, and I can tell it is hitting him extra hard this year.  He is being really quiet, and anyone who knows him knows he is NEVER quiet. :) I think that is part of why he an I get along so well I am rarely quiet too.


     I am so tired of every time you turn around people are trying to make EVERYTHING a racial issue even if that may not be the case.   Did you all see that clip on one of the news pages where the woman and her son went to a restraint and they were told the little boy was in violation of the dress code?  The employee that stopped them made it clear it was because of the clothes, and even said they would love for them to eat there , and asked if they lived close enough that they could go home and change the clothes. 
     The mother spotted another little boy (out side) dressed similarly to the way her son was, and asked why he was allowed to eat there. The employee told her it was the shoes that did not meet the dress code. ( Personally I do not see any reason for a fancy dress code.  As long as you are clean without any private body parts sticking out, any clothes should be ok) , but some restraints have fancy clothes codes.  I do not eat in them lol.  Back to my point.  No one on the tape everrrrrrr said it was a color issue.  On being interviewed by the news the mother herself even said SHE ASSUMED it was a color thing.  People should never assume anything. You so not know what other people are thinking, there for you can not say what they were thinking.  I think it is sad two people lost their job because someone thinks they are above the rules.  
     This event made me think of a song I heard decades ago. If I can find it on line I will put it on my wall.  
     I do not know if people do not get that trying to make a raciest event out of something that was not one, makes it harder for people to care about the real ones.  Like the little boy that cried wolf.   Real events or racism should be delt with, but just because someone does not get their own way does not automatically make the person that stopped you from breaking a rule a racist.


     Today is a beautiful day. It is not as hot, no rain , and few clouds with a cool breeze blowing.   I threw some bread out to the neighborhood birds and sat there on my porch just watching them.  They would come in pick up a piece and take it a bit farther back to eat it.   The funny part was this grown baby bird. It kept trying to get the parent to feed it, and the parent wanted it to eat on its own, so it kept moving away from the baby.   I was watching them the other day and I think the one was trying to get the wrong adult to feed it, because I saw the bigger bird grab the younger one by the beak and flip it to the ground.  I had never seen that in a bird before, but it found its real parent and started following it around lol.  I will be surprised if some of these birds do not have 2 sets of babies this year. The first set is nearly grown and it is only mid June.
     I hope we get some more nice days. All those clouds and rain was getting old really fast.   I heard they were canceling the fireworks this 4th of July. Probably because they had to cancel the big cook off they usually have with them.
     I thought it was bad the year I graduated because we had a big teachers strike that year and to get all 180 days in they had to tack and extra hour on each day, and make everyone even the seniors go to the very last day allowed by law. But these kids this year got it worse.  The graduated in small groups so they did not get to see their friends one last time before they have to be adults.  All their events around graduation were canceled.  Today my neighbor is having a small graduation party for her daughter,but it is not nearly as big as it was originally going to be.  At least they has a nice day for it.

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